Fuckin' Retail Gods
by Rootallica615
Summary: Because of my current situation, I have been planted in a place that can only be described as the equivalent of Davy Jones' Locker. A place synonymous with Hell, and just as lively. In which a young college student falls for a man much older and more successful than he is. But who really gives a damn right? AizenxOriginal Male Character. YAOI duh what else would it be.


You know what, I have a lot to say aheh A/N: I'm writing this because Aizen and I share our birthday and I'm pretty stoked about that! And I really need something to do. This is pretty much a parody of my life right now *saaad laughter* I normally don't like OC's, but I was in the mood for some BL and I couldn't choose a pairing. Hence, alternate universe! I hope the OC haters forgive me because I'm guilty hehehe. Honestly if I wasn't in a weird mood, this probably would have been an AiIchi ficAnd normally I write serious-ish stuff. Anyway, please enjoy this sad autobiography.

For now I will introduce this story as Part One of the (hopefully continued) Fuckin' Retail Gods.

Because of my current situation, I have been planted in a place that can only be described as the equivalent of Davy Jones' Locker. A place synonymous with Hell, and just as lively. The souls that dwell here suffer alongside me and luckily we are able to find comfort in that mutual feeling, as well as the companionship we build through our endeavors. If it weren't for the sacrifices they make every day, this place would be truly unbearable. In comparison to the many branches and levels of my type of Hell, it would be untrue to say I am suffering the worst, and it only lasts a short while before I am able to escape temporarily.

"I'm pretty disgusted with how this place is run! Those shorts are a girls' size eight, and they are half an inch away from their crotch!"

Ah yes, I spaced out for a minute after this crazy ass started ranting at me. This bitch is lucky I have as much patience as I do in this hellhole.

"I'm sorry ma'am." I don't sew these clothes, why don't you contact the sweat-shop these came from and get off my dick. "We carry bermudas in that size. They're located on the opposite table."

"Whatever, just ring up my stuff please!"

Me, me, me, wah, wah, wahfrickin' God! I ring that shit up and walk away to fold when she's gone. If you haven't guessed it, the fire and brimstone here is only as hot as the pavement outside, (which is, not at all at the moment since its pouring buckets out there) and more like the cringe-worthy chill you get from the bad pop music and dusty air conditioning. But like I said, it could be worse. I work at a large retail store called New Blue, (you know, partners with Space and, on the higher end, Pineapple Empire) and if the word retail didn't pretty much explain the horrors of my everyday life, then I don't know how to spell it out for you. At least it isn't food service right?

"Ryu!" I turn away from the shirts I'm folding to see my manager walking up the main isle. "Since its pretty much dead in here at the moment, when you're not ringing, could you redress the mannequins by the door for me?"

"Yes sir."

"Aaaaaaand, we only have two NBC's, but we need six to meet our goal! Just a reminder."

"I'll do my best~." I guess my enthusiasm isn't at its most genuine but I can't bring myself to really be disrespectful. After all, I like my co-workers and management is pretty chill (except Yoruichi, she knows how to make this job difficult). It's been a while since I've sold a New Blue Card, but I get tired of asking so, uh, woops. I grab the stack of clothes set out for the dummies and begin my mission. The rain is flooding the parking lot and it's already 7:45, which means anyone out shopping this late in this weather can drown. It's much too peaceful in here without the crowds of a regular day.

No one seems to be here at the moment. I'm in charge of holding down the registers and Feature isles tonight. "En garde, fiends!" I whisper as I yank the arm off of a mannequin. The magnet is pretty strong, but nothing for a tough guy like me! Yeah right, I smirk. I'm kinda thin and strong enough for a twenty year old, but I'm not buff or anything. My mind wanders around while I redress this lifeless torso. It's super quiet even with the music playing and I can see Yumichika folding in Babies back near the fitting room. It's just the three of us tonight, hopefully we'll get out at a decent time since the store is pretty much recovered, but Urahara always takes forever to count the registers! I vaguely wonder if _he_ is closing at his store too.

Ah yes, it's true. The object of my current infatuation, the mingling idea foremost in my mind at least seventy percent of the time, something I hoped to avoid until I had some idea of where my future is headed, is a man exactly nine years my senior, and General Manager of WAM's next door in this little shopping center. I lift the mannequin back onto its post and move to the next one as I space out again. Sousuke Aizen, although kept comfortably contained in this small but growing city, is probably the most successful, ingenious, and regal person I have ever encountered. I always wonder why he even lives and works here when he could easily make it on the higher end, but I appreciate simplicity as much as the next guy so I get the appeal.

WAM's is a huge club-grocery store and the workers there seem to like their boss, more than the job anyway, surprise surprise. I swear location is the either bane or blessing of all customer service.

"Excuse me…" Speaking of which. I set my dummy down and turn around.

"Are you ready to check out ma'am?" She nods, "I can get you on register one." I will say, it's quite enjoyable when the customers are docile. It's not like I think they're all bad. They must have jobs that let out late, or last minute errands that I'm unaware of. I am a mere extra in their story, as they are in mine. "Have a good night!" I smile at her and wave some dark hair out of my face. I really need a haircut.

I'm pretty tired by the time 8:45 rolls around and I hear Urahara turn off the music. Only fifteen more minutes until I can lock the door, and it's probably a bad habit, but I always linger a minute or two 'til so I don't have to race anyone who decides to waltz in with a minute left. Bastards. I start clearing up the Fast-Lanes to keep busy and thankfully Kisuke pulled all the other tills a little while ago to get a head start. Looks like he doesn't want to stay late either. It's about five 'til when I start to get antsy. I start running my go-backs to get something done until close, when I hear the door ding and curse under my breath as I speed walk back to the front. The least I could do was greet them with an attitude so they would hurry up, but my words catch in my throat when I see slightly rain-wet Sousuke walk into the store.

"W-welcome to New Blue!" I stand there mesmerized for a second, for this is the most eventful moment of my piteous existence since last week! I quickly recover myself. WAM's closes an hour before we do so they must have had an easy time herding out the cattle. "Do you need help finding anything?" As much as I would like to continue staring at his Clark Kent-like visage, we close in a few minutes.

"No, thank you, I'll only be a minute." He smiles and my insides tighten. I head over to my counter and pretend to tidy up while I wait for him. When he comes back he sets a white polo on the counter and I search for the tag. "I apologize for coming in last minute," he glances at the clock, which is humorously showing 8:59, "I can't seem to buy enough of these before they are ruined back at home base." He smiles again, obviously referring to his own store, which is hectic on a regular basis.

"Well they are pretty comfy and usually on sale…" I smile at him and inwardly cringe at my lack of anything witty to say. I mean come on it's a shirt! I realize that the one he picked doesn't have a tag and he notices it too.

"Oh, sorry about that."

"It's okay, there's a dummy tag on the inside that I can type in." Are you serious! He's a fuckin' retail god! Of course he knows there's a tag on the inside with the skew. But whatever, I turn the thing inside out and punch the numbers in.

"I see. I'm Sousuke Aizen by the way. I've seen you in my store a few times. I hope my employees treat you well." So business-like this man is. Of course I know who you are you handsome demon you! Wow how gay can you be for one guy Ryu? Wait, what am I doing spacing out!

"They do! Um, thanks." Introduce yourself dammit! "I'm Ryu! Ryu Mira." This guy is onto me for sure, the only reason I ever go to WAM's is one: when my mom needs a surplus of chicken and meat to load up the freezer, or two: to stalk Aizen after my shift when I see his car parked in its reserved space. And I always go in under the pretense of getting an Icee, which I've actually come to enjoy quite a bit, and they're super cheap! But it's not like I'm being creepy if I sit with my phone and enjoy a drink in the noisy, crowded food court right next to the grocery lanes. Boys will be boys right? And people-watching isn't really that uncommon with such an entertaining audience. Plus I don't even try to dig up info on him, I just know his name and his occupation, some of his hobbies from a few of his employees that I'm friends with, that kind of stuff.

"Nice to meet you Ryu." I hand him his receipt and I swear he smirks at me when I feel my neck heat up a tiny bit. He looks at me for a second and takes his bag. "Your necklace is nice by the way, it compliments your eyes." I have a distinct feeling that he said that so he could watch my brain short circuit (with the x-ray vision that he obviously has), because what _I_ heard was: 'that pendant is no competitor to the beauty of your emerald green irises my love.' And, I mean, my eyes are hazel-y green, but not _that_ special.

"Oh, thanks, I uh…thank you. Have a good night!"

"You too." He walks out and I can see him jog to his car. I put a finger on the little worn out rose quartz rock on my neck, and exhale a breath I didn't know I had held. We've never spoken before, even though he's shopped here a few times while I was on duty, and I've been in his presence before at WAM's while he was helping other customers. Honestly I never really expected to meet him for any reason. When I think about it, my feelings are superficial at best, but my intentions are good so I think that counts for something. Now that we've spoken I've officially been flung back into fantasyland as I lock the store doors.

"Well well my cute little Mira! I'm surprised he didn't sweep you up and away with those eyes he was giving you! Are you looking for a sugar daddy because I doubt he would object!"

"Yumi! Seriously!" I throw a stray shirt at him but he dodges easily with surprising grace, and then picks it up off the floor. "Go fold something!" I laugh a little as he walks away. It's not really a secret that I have the hots for Aizen, I mean who doesn't? He could easily be the most attractive man in the city. And me, well, girls have told me I'm cute and I've been with a few guys before, but I'm going into my third year of college and I haven't been in a relationship since high school. And then I decide to transfer to a larger university here, and this successful, manly older man comes along and I feel like he's the newest secret flavor at Moonbucks that I'm dying to try. And possibly lock the recipe away for myself. For, like, ever. And even though I'm young, even my co-workers mistake me for someone a few years older, but maybe it's because I was actually raised to have some manners and be able to, you know, function like a respectable human being in public and all that.

This is ridiculous though. I go through my section and touch up anything that's askew. I'm such a girl, drooling over some guy I talked to once, one I hadn't even talked to before said drooling had begun! I'm not effeminate or anything but I guess I'm a sensitive guy. People dig that right? And Sousuke, well, he's definitely the strong silent type. But he's sweet if I take what I've seen of his business and what he said tonight anyway. By no means is he shy either, I would know, shy-quiet and confident-quiet are completely different.

The main lights turn off, signaling that we can head to the back and clock out. The rain has let up a little so I don't get soaked on the way to my car when we leave. And I drive into the night with my music loud like the badass young adult I am. Come on though, I like my music and the drive home is a little far. I get a little giddy as I think about a fact I hadn't let sink in yet, the fact that Aizen, despite never having met me, remembered me from his store. His store that averaged hundreds upon hundreds of customers a day. I could deal with this feeling. I really could.

Long A/N again: This is not meant to offend anyone by the way, meanness is allowed for humor's sake so soooorry. Passionate anger is the best kind isn't it? It's so raw and thoughtless and spontaneous! And if you've ever been a rude customer to someone I am shitting on you right now with this story. I am having a good time with this haha, but some of these feelings really are mine, so if a retail worker ever has a weird look on their face, it's because they're probably thinking some of the above.

I know I write like a child but I'm twenty so come on. I'm basically an adult child. And a dork. I've been really out of practice but I like writing feeeeeeelings! And I wouldn't have had to write this if someone else had but I can't find any and I'm too lazy to search through pages and pages. AizenxOC yaoi seems ok to me.

This whole "putting my own character as the main character" thing is really weird, and again, I can't stand most stories like that, but I am learning to appreciate that kind of creativity more. I tend to get discouraged if I feel the story setup is too weird though, but I'd really like to finish something like this! Someone, anyone! Review! Any suggestions on who works where? Review!

(P.S. it's Mira like Mee-rah, not My-ruh haha)


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